


Five Finger Discount

by justsomenonsense



Series: Just Some CR NSFW [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, F/F, Face-Sitting, Fisting, Praise Kink, Slight Pain Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23790928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomenonsense/pseuds/justsomenonsense
Summary: Beau spots a hot flutist at a tavern and promises her good wine and good company.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Kaylie Shorthalt
Series: Just Some CR NSFW [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903897
Comments: 4
Kudos: 105





	Five Finger Discount

**Author's Note:**

> I legitimately don't know why this pairing appeals to me so much. I just like two snarky assholes having hot, snarky sex alright?

“Beau. Beau!”

Beau just hummed to let Fjord know she was listening but she didn’t look at him. “Hah?”

“You listening to me?”

Beau smirked and popped a peanut in her mouth. “Nope.”

No, her eyes were trained on the flutist up on stage. The only thing that could possibly tear her eyes away from those soft pink lips gently blowing into the flute was the gentle, sultry sway of her hips. The gnome girl suddenly bent over at the waist and caught Beau’s eyes. She smirked as she played and gave Beau a wink. When she stood up straight Beau followed her eyes, unable to break away from her gaze.

“How do you do it…” Fjord mumbled somewhere off to her right. “Fucking… Everywhere we fucking go…How do you have so much fucking game?”

“You mumbling over there, bud?” she asked. 

Fjord sighed and stood up. “No. I’m just gonna get more to drink.”

“Cool, cool. You do that. I’m gonna go chat up the flautist.” She knocked back the last of her ale and sighed as she slammed it down on the table. She stood up as the song came to a triumphant end and wandered casually to stand near the stage. The gnome glanced at her out of the corner of her eye and one side of her mouth twitched up into a smirk as she carefully put her flute in an old leather case that had ‘Shorthalt’ burned into the side. When it was put away, she finally turned to Beau and grinned with a playful glint in her dark eyes.

“Can I help you?” she asked. “Got a request? The band’s done for the evening, you’re a bit late.”

Beau gave her what she hoped was an alluring look and leaned casually against the back next to the stage. “I think I’m right on time. I’m Beau.”

The woman chuckled and turned to face Beau, though she stayed on the stage so that she was face to face with Beau. “And what makes you think I have any interest in who you are?” The woman looked her over with a single raised eyebrow, her eyes lingering on Beau’s exposed abs and then biting her bottom lip as her eyes trailed up the line of Beau’s arms. She cleared her throat when her eyes met Beau’s again. “Kaylie Shorthalt.” She picked up her case and hopped off the stage. “Well, if you’re gonna stand there staring at me, the least you can do is buy me a drink.”

“I’ve got a bottle of wine up in my room.”

Kaylie paused and looked at Beau evenly like she was trying to keep her thoughts from showing on her face. “What kind of wine?”

“Lionett. Eleven years old.”

Kaylie considered that for a moment. “Good brand. How much was the bottle?”

“1,500 gold per bottle but I got it at a five finger discount.” She’d taken it from her own home but this random one night stand didn’t need all those details.

Kaylie grinned, her eyes a little bit impressed if Beau was reading that correctly. “Lead the way.”

Beau smirked and led Kaylie casually up the stairs. Kaylie paused to swipe a couple of cups off a table, ignoring the ‘Hey!’ from the people sitting there, and dumping out the backwash onto the floor before finally jogging up the stairs to follow Beau. Beau unlocked the door and let her inside, then stopped in the doorway to tie her sash around the doorknob. Kaylie raised an eyebrow as Beau finally shut and locked the door.

“Roommate,” she said in explanation. “She knows what it means.”

Kaylie chuckled. “What does it mean? What exactly do you think we’re gonna be doing up here in your room alone?”

Beau pushed herself off the door and walked over to her rucksack, pulling out the bottle of wine. She sat down on the bed by the window and Kaylie walked over, holding out the cup she held in each hand. “Drinking damn good wine,” Beau answered.

Kaylie barked a laugh and joined her on the bed so that she could fill the two cups. She waited until the cups were full and Beau had set the bottle on the nearby nightstand. “To damn good wine,” she toasted, gently tapping the cups together in her hands and knocking one back, downing the wine, and then the second as well. “Fuck!” she exclaimed, her lips puckering and shaking her head, laughing as she handed Beau one of the cups. “That’s _damn_ good wine.”

Beau filled the cups again and started sipping on her cup. She didn’t often drink her family’s wine herself, not since that time when she was seventeen and drank so much that her puke the next morning was pink, but it was annoyingly good. “Yeah.” She finished off the cup in a few more gulps and then set it off to the side. 

Kaylie was taking her time with her third cup, nursing it gently as she watched Beau over the rim. “You know… When you sidled up to the stage, swaggering like you’d already gotten yourself laid, bragging about your wine… I thought you’d be an asshole. But you’re different, I can tell. More thoughtful than I expected. I was gonna steal the wine from you and run off.”

Beau shrugged and picked up the bottle, pushing the cork back in as far as it would go and then holding it out towards her. “It’s yours if you want it.”

Kaylie looked shocked and didn’t take the wine. Beau held it out until her arm got tired, then she sat it down on the bed within Kaylie’s reach. “Why?” she asked.

Beau shrugged. “Daddy issues.”

Kaylie laughed again, tossing her head back and letting the cup in her hand clatter to the floor without care. “No shit? You and me both, huh?” She bit her lip and brought her legs up on the bed, kneeling near Beau’s feet. “Well, I’ve got nowhere to be until morning. I’d be happy to repay you for the wine.”

Beau smirked and opened her legs enough to let Kaylie to slide between them, running her hands up the length of Beau’s clothed legs. “You think you can make it worth 1,500 gold?”

“Hmm,” Kaylie mumbled, pausing at Beau’s knees. “You’re right. You’d still owe me 500 gold to make up the difference.”

Beau raised an eyebrow and tilted back her head to bare her neck. “Five finger discount?”

Kaylie’s laugh was buried in Beau’s abs as she started kissing down her skin, biting gently and running her hands over Beau’s hips. She slipped her fingers under the top of Beau’s pants and paused glancing up and trying to find Beau’s eyes in the darkness. Beau licked her lips in anticipation and lifted her hips so that Kaylie could drag it down over her knees. She kicked it off of Beau’s feet and then off the bed before refocusing her attention between Beau’s legs. She pressed open mouthed kisses up Beau’s thighs and paused at the wild cluster of curly brown hair at the apex of her long legs.

“You gonna stop me?” Kaylie asked, reaching up and gently using her thumb to push the hair out of the way.

Beau grunted and closed her eyes, gripping the bars of the headboard to keep from reaching down to grab Kaylie’s hair instead. “Fuck no.”

Kaylie grinned and pressed forward, instantly sucking Beau’s clit between her lips. She smirked against Beau’s skin when Beau let out a loud, surprised, pleasurable keen. She nipped at the bud and rolled it gently between her teeth as her fingers moved to spread Beau’s wet lips and expose her to the cold air of the room.

“I knew you’d be a screamer,” Kaylie mumbled as she dropped the clit from her mouth. She gave it a lazy lick and moved down to where she was wettest, running her tongue up the length of her lips and then pushing it inside.

Beau scowled and let go of the headboard with one hand to start massaging her own breast, pinching her pink-brown nipple between her short fingernails. “I’m not a screamer,” she insisted, a little indignant though her breath was shuddering from the pleasure. 

Kaylie raised an eyebrow. “Wanna bet? I bet I can make you scream so loud the people downstairs hear it. We could ruin a couple people’s dinners, whatdya say?”

Beau looked intrigued and squeezed the breast in her hand, idly flicking her thumb nail over her nipple as she pondered it. “What do you get if you win?”

Kaylie hummed thoughtfully and started pressing her thumb against Beau’s clit, smirking when she shivered in pleasure under her hands. “Let me sit on your face?”

Beau laughed and bucked her hips, trying to press harder into Kaylie’s finger. “I’d let you do that anyway.”

“Yeah, but making it a bet is more fun.”

Beau smirked. “And what do I get if I manage to keep quiet?”

“Besides a life shattering orgasm?”

“Yeah, besides that.”

Kaylie considered it for a moment. “If you manage to keep quiet, I’ll give you the honor of me sitting on your face.”

Beau barked a laugh and raised an eyebrow at her. “Deal.”

Kaylie crawled up Beau’s body to reach her face and smirked down at her confident expression. “To seal the deal,” she mumbled before pressing her mouth against Beau’s. Beau smiled softly into the kiss and Kaylie almost wished she could see it. She imagined it was a rare pleasure to see this hard, careful woman be soft. She pulled away with her eyes closed to give Beau time to smother the softness on her face, worried that seeing it would make her want to make Beau smile again. Right now all she wanted was to make Beau scream.

She finally opened her eyes and the cocky smirk was back on Beau’s lips and she returned it with one of her own. She stole one of the pillows that Beau wasn’t resting her head on and then moved back down to her earlier position between Beau’s legs. She pushed up Beau’s hips and pressed the pillow under her to keep her hips pointed up so that she could be in a more comfortable position.

She leaned forward and just hovered above her a moment, then blew air over her wet skin.

Beau grunted and bucked her hips again. “Fucker…” she mumbled and Kaylie laughed before latching onto her clit, sucking it hard between her lips. She brushed the tips of her fingers up and down Beau’s cunt and bit lightly in the nub in her mouth as she pushed two fingers inside. Two of her fingers were just a bit wider as one of a human’s, so they both slipped in easily. She let go of the nub and pulled away enough to watch Beau’s face as she started slowly fucking Beau. Beau was biting her lip, watching Kaylie with narrow eyes. Kaylie smirked at her and added two more fingers without warning. “Fuck!” Beau exclaimed, letting go of her own breast to grab onto the headboard again. “That wasn’t a scream!” she insisted quickly. “There’s no fucking way they heard that.”

Kaylie chuckled and started sucking dark hickies over Beau’s hip bone, biting down and then grinning when Beau tossed her head back and moaned low in her throat. “Then I’ll just have to try harder.” She curled in her fingers and pressed the entirety of her fist in, meeting a little resistance when Beau tensed up and then stopping to let her adjust. She pressed a kiss to the junction between Beau’s hip and leg. “You alright?” she asked quietly.

Beau was gripping the headboard so tightly that the dark skin of her knuckles was turning pale. She nodded sharply and squeezed her eyes shut. “Don’t stop…” she mumbled. “I like the pain.”

Kaylie grinned against Beau’s hip bone. “Where the fuck have you been all my life,” she mumbled, barely loud enough for herself to hear over the pounding of her own heart so she was farily confident that Beau hadn’t heard it either. She pulled her fist almost all the way out, then thrust it forward again. There was a hitch in Beau’s breath and she arched her back.

“H-Harder!” Beau moaned.

Kaylie complied, fucking her harder and faster, watching her face carefully in case the stretch over it got to be too much. But Beau just seemed to enjoy it more and more that harder and faster she went. She grinned and leaned down, taking Beau’s clit between her teeth once more, biting down gently and then sucking hard.

Finally, she could see the change in Beau and knew she was getting close. Her breaths were shorter and sharper and her back was arching more dramatically. Then, it was like she broke. She fell down flat on the bed like she was suddenly boneless and her thighs trembled against Kaylie’s ears as she screamed so loudly Kaylie could have sworn the room shook.

“Fuck!” she cried out, slapping her hand over her eyes. Her other hand let go of her headboard and was shaking as she rested it on her stomach. “Shit, fucking fuck, goddamn it.”

“Ah,” Kaylie said teasingly, grinning as she pulled her fist out slowly. “Music to my ears.” She licked a line up the length of her hand and sucked Beau’s pleasure off her fingers one by one. She crawled up Beau’s body as she panted to catch her breath and paused at her breasts, pressing light kisses to the underside and then moving up to the nipple taking it gently into her mouth. “Let me know when you’re ready,” she whispered. “I wanna collect my prize.”

“You-” Beau started, then paused to take a deep breath. “-cheated.”

“How dare you,” Kaylie said, grinning. She pinched Beau’s nipple and smirked when she twitched. “I am nothing if not a woman of my word.”

Beau took a deep breath in through her nose and held it for a moment before letting it out. “Well?” she asked playfully. “What are you waiting for?”

Kaylie grinned and moved up to straddle Beau’s head, her thighs pressed against Beau’s ears. She held onto the headboard to steady herself and then looked down at Beau again. “Ready?” Beau licked her lips in anticipation and nodded, reaching up to grab onto Kaylie’s hips. “Ah ah,” Kaylie reprimanded. She grabbed Beau’s wrists and pressed them into the bed, then sat her knees on Beau’s hands to keep them still. “This is my prize, remember?” Beau’s eyes glistened with excitement and she nodded, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue without having to be asked. Kaylie chuckled and remained hovering for just a moment. “Why do I get the feeling you’re in this position quite a lot?”

Beau grinned. “If I’m lucky.” Then she resumed her position, closing her eyes this time.

Kaylie smirked and started off slow, grinding down on Beau’s mouth. Beau moaned under her and licked up into her and Kaylie gasped, speeding up her grinding. She pressed down after a moment and swirled her hips side to side, groaning and letting go of the headboard with one hand to wrap her fingers in Beau’s hair instead. 

“That’s it, that’s it,” she mumbled, resuming her grinding and moaning when Beau made a noise that sent vibrations through her. “Gods, you’re so good. Your mouth is perfect.” Beau’s hips bucked suddenly at that and Kaylie smirked, slowing her grinding so that Beau could hear her. “What was that? You liked being told how good you are?” Beau glared at her but it didn’t have quite the effect Beau was probably hoping for because her hips started grinding subtly against the air. “I’m gonna ride your face and come all over your perfect mouth, yeah?”

Beau whined and the half-hearted glare faded into desperation. She nodded and licked up against Kaylie now that she’d stopped moving. Kaylie grinned and resumed her grinding again bringing down both hands to clutch at Beau’s hair, pulling gently to position Beau’s face where she wanted it. She moaned loudly, squeezing her thighs on Beau’s head as she came in her mouth.

She huffed as she tried to catch her breath and leaned against the headboard. Whining when Beau continued licking her like she was chasing the taste. She pulled again on Beau's hair as she lifted herself off her seat and moved down to sit on Beau’s chest instead so that she could see her face.

Beau smirked and licked her wet, shiny lips. “Enjoy your prize?”

Kaylie rolled her eyes. “If your head gets any bigger I won’t be able to sit on it, so be careful with that ego, yeah?”

Beau grinned widely and wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. She picked up the wine on the other side of the bed and gave it a considering look. “Well, I guess you can take the wine and go. If you wanted.”

Kaylie cleared her throat and nodded as she climbed off of Beau’s chest and hopped down to the floor. “I’m meeting up with my father in the morning. I should get some sleep.” Beau nodded and sat up, watching as Kaylie started pulling her clothes back on. Suddenly, Kaylie paused, her pants half buttoned and her shirt laying on the mattress. “Although… I guess it doesn’t really matter what bed I sleep in,” she said, not meeting Beau’s eyes. “And all that time I save by not traveling back to my inn could be spent doing something more… enjoyable.”

Beau grinned and rested her arms casually on her knees. “What bed did you have in mind?”

“Wipe that smug look off your face.”

Beau laughed and sat the wine on the bedside table instead then tossed Kaylie's shirt across the room. “Make me.” Kaylie smirked and dropped her pants, kicking them off without a care and then jumping back into the bed.


End file.
